If an io error occurs on an io issued while connecting, recovery
of the io falls flat as the state checking ends up nooping the error
handler.

Create an err_work work item that is scheduled upon an io error while
connecting. The work thread terminates all io on all queues and marks
the queues as not connected.  The termination of the io will return
back to the callee, which will then back out of the connection attempt
and will reschedule, if possible, the connection attempt.

The changes:
- in case there are several commands hitting the error handler, a
  state flag is kept so that the error work is only scheduled once,
  on the first error. The subsequent errors can be ignored.
- The calling sequence to stop keep alive and terminate the queues
  and their io is lifted from the reset routine. Made a small
  service routine used by both reset and err_work.
- During debugging, found that the teardown path can reference
  an uninitialized pointer, resulting in a NULL pointer oops.
  The aen_ops weren't initialized yet. Add validation on their
  initialization before calling the teardown routine.

Signed-off-by: James Smart <jsmart2021@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Christoph Hellwig <hch@lst.de>