Move the connection setup/teardown paths to the workq thread removing
spin lock/irq disable requirements for these paths.  This allows calls
down to the LLD for EP and QP state transition actions to be atomic
with respect to processing CPL messages coming up from the HW.
Namely, calls to rdma_init() and rdma_fini() can now be called with
the mutex held avoiding many race conditions with the abort path.

The QP spinlock is still used but only to manipulate the qp state.  This
allows the fastpaths, poll, post_send, and pos_recv, to run in the
irq context.

Signed-off-by: Steve Wise <swise@opengridcomputing.com>
Signed-off-by: Roland Dreier <rolandd@cisco.com>